I have to use this entry to sing the praises of my incredible husband. I just realized that today is Valentine's day, so this is actually mere coincidence with that small fact.

I'm listening to Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits. You can also find it in the encyclopedia- the At - Br book- listed under Best Romantic Songs Ever.

Ok, not really.

Well, maybe, but I've never looked, so this is my official disclaimer.

Anyway, I've heard and read a lot about how difficult many people find weight loss to be, because people around them tend to discourage them and drag them down. It's like that crabs in a bucket anecdote. If you've never heard that one, let me enlighten you- it's the idea that if you fill a bucket with crabs, and one is able to climb up on top of the others that are just milling around at the bottom, then those millers (is that a word in that context? Consider it just invented if not.) will reach up and pull the ambitious one back down when it starts to actually get out.

I am sure that many people losing weight feel that way- people shove food in their face, or tell them that they need to be happy with who they are and not prescribe to the world's definition of beauty. People who lose weight probably get all jacked-up on guilt-trips by other overweight family and friends who "can't" lose the weight. I am sure even those of you that read my blog have dealt with this. I can honestly say that I never have.

I've dealt with the other end, where most of my friends are very small (seriously- I have maybe two close friends who are over a size 10. Most range from the 4-10 range, and at least half of them closer to 4 than 10). Now, to be fair to them before you jump to conclusions- nearly all of my friends love me for who I am, and while my weight concerns them for my health and general well being they have never made me feel anything less than loved.

At times their conscience for me made my lack of a conscience for me a little pissed off, but that was because of my sin. Even non-Christians can relate to this- when you are doing something and you know you shouldn't, and you know it's causing damage that will be extremely difficult to repair, you don't tend to respond well to reproof because you're reacting out of self-defense. A caged and cornered animal either cowers, hisses, or attacks-- even if they chose the corner and constructed the cage. I tend to be a hisser.

You may be reading this and thinking, "Um, when will she talk her husband? Didn't she say this entry is supposed to be about him?" Actually, yes, yes it is. The other day I was blessed to read this entry that he wrote on his own blog, totally inspired once he actually dug into this blog a little.

He's not really a guy who struggles with his weight. He's 6'6" and in the winter he's 240 with a little bit of a belly, and in the summer he's 215 with less of a belly. He happens to be a man with a butt and thighs (nice for me... but I fear for our daughters, with my ass, hips, and thighs coming into this equation!) but they're not like chubby- just not sticks attached to a board like most guys.

What is so amazing is that he not only loved me unconditionally even when I was creeping toward 400 pounds and never left the couch, but right now he is so encouraging in the right way about us being healthy. You'll notice that I said us- that's because he works out with me faithfully, and never complains about our meals turning from chili and mac and cheese to salads and baked chicken. Now, to be fair, I'm a pretty decent cook, so he'd be happy if the main ingredient were a cardboard box given over to my flair. But he's also just amazing at loving and supporting me where I am. He doesn't chastise me if he catches me sneaking a few cashews (my biggest weakness! Oy!), but he simply asks me something along the lines of are you sure you are ok with eating that, or is that in line with your health goals, or do your calories today allow for that, etc. He also showers me with praises after workouts, which always adds a little more of a spring to my step.

Jason is amazing. I'm certain that no other man like him exists, and I daily choose to trust God's providence while selfishly praying that Jas doesn't die before me. I honestly have no idea how I ever lived without him, and I would sob if I tried to imagine it. If you just read the entry he wrote about me (yay for the easy "one click away" link, right?) you'll see just how incredible he is. I don't even mind that he thought the "e" key was an "i" in privileged ;)

The point, which you must be dying for by now, is that losing weight is hard. It's harder if people pull you down, but it's really hard no matter what. I am blessed with an amazingly wonderful husband who doesn't see an ugly, bloated body; rather, he sees what is to him the world's most beautiful soul. He makes this journey just that much easier, and that much more worth it to be healthy and live a long and active life with him.

Even at this size he somehow finds me incredibly physically attractive! I love the sweet things he says, so allow me to share two little stories and then I'll quit bubbling about my love :)

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I really don't like to wear clothes. My nickname in Carolina was Tami NoPants because as soon as I would get home I'd take off my pants and just hang out in my shirt and underwear. It's my favorite, I won't lie. Now that I'm married I tend to frequent the apartment in... well, nothing at all. It's most married men's dream, even if they don't quite dream of a wife looking quite like I do. But a few weeks ago Jason just looked me and suddenly gushed, "You have the most beautiful breasts in the entire world". How Song of Solomon is THAT!!

Then, the other day, I'm not sure even how, really, we were gazing into one another's eyes and he told me that I have the most beautiful face he has ever seen. It doesn't matter whether you weigh 400 pounds or 114- if your man thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world, you have confidence that outshines the women on the magazines. I consider myself incredibly blessed.

So... that's my man. I love him. He's a blessing. And even though he loves me as I am, I will keep working hard and not give up, because I want him to be able to love a wife who is trim, fit, and healthy.