[Light On, David Cook]

First, David Cook finally released his first single!  (Listen to it here.)  Upon initial listen I was a little mixed up on whether I liked it or not, but after the second and subsequent listens I was hooked.  So that's happy.

In other news, I am sorry.  I have been all but dead on here for two weeks, and I promised myself this morning that I would make time to write today.  I could give you all 56 excuses, but none are really any good, so I'll just refrain. 

Overall, the last two weeks have been a 6.5 out of 10.  Eating has been decent (though this last weekend was bad because we were both busy and tired and my back has been really bad for the last week and a half) but exercise has been nil.  I finally conceded to Jason (and myself) Monday afternoon that I just have to get over the pain and go to water aerobics because if pain keeps me away then I'll never go.  That's just my life right now, and it sucks, but if I use it as an excuse then I'll just get fatter and fatter until I burst at the seams.  Ok, not really, but it will feel like it.

In this vein (the pain vein?  Seriously?  Shoot me now!) I decided that today I was going for a walk, no matter what, and then V, the father of the boy I nanny, said that it might be cool to take the Brodster for a walk today because they were outside for a few minutes this morning and the little dude was beyond delighted.  It was actually perfect walking weather (in my opinion): 60 degrees and cloudy.  I forced myself to take a route that kept me far from the house, swallowing my pride when my back started spasming and sitting on people's cement stairs that spill out onto the public sidewalk, and walked for a full 30 minutes!  I only sat down three times- about 45 seconds the first two times and only about 20 the last time.  It started to rain heavily just as we got home, so I felt like that was God's way of saying, "Nicely done, Tam.  I won't even rain on you!".  Maybe not, but it was nice to avoid the averse weather.

Anyway, things are going well.  I was pretty convicted in Sunday's sermon (about SEX!  Woo-hoo!  I'm embedding the video in the bottom of this post) that my body is not just mine to steward for my own purposes, but to honor my husband.  Jason has always loved me just where I am, and has never pressured me to lose weight.  That said, we had an honest discussion after the sermon about how we can be more attractive to one another, both physically and with our character / personality, and one issue he pointed out is that I really take no (good) pride in my appearance, and seem to just not care... which is true.  I don't care, because I don't like how I look. I hate to have pictures taken of myself, hate that no clothes fit, and hate the way I look in the few clothing items that do fit.  He was gently honest and said that he'll always love me no matter what size I am, but that our sex life would be far better if I were a more active size, and he's right.  I respect him for being so honest with me, and I'm blessed by the fact that he's so awesome.

So, we're planning to try in the upcoming months to take one another shopping, where he picks out some items that look hot on me and I pick out some items that look hot on him.  And as I am really working on viewing God as a loving Father, I'm starting to find joy in obedience because of how it honors both God as Father and Jason as my husband.  I'm not perfect, nor all the way there yet, but I've begun to realize how good it feels to be freed up from laws and stringent rules, and to take care of myself because I love my God, I love my husband, and I love myself for who the Lord knit me together to be. 

I promise to keep you all updated better!  Just as I am a roller coaster person often with regards to weight and spiritual issues, full of high-highs and loooooow-lows, I seem to either update every day on here or once a week.  I need a happier medium!

I need to get back to biz, but I'm putting out a shameless request for comments!  I've missed you all!  And seriously- check out the sermon.  It's awesome- it's not haughty-taughty prudish Christian talk about sex (I'm not sure Mark Driscoll has ever been called a prude!) nor is it grotesquely tasteless perversion.  It was AWESOME and I can't wait for this Sunday for the next sermon in the series!  Love ya, kids.

-T