Today's weigh-in was frustrating. I guess it's progress, but seriously... ugh. Then again, I didn't work out last week other than Thursday (I can't even remember if I DID work out Thursday... maybe it was Wednesday... I think I worked out one day but can't remember) and I really wasn't careful with eating last weekend. Nonetheless, allow me to post my record loss!!

Starting Weight: 367 (circa January 15, 2008)

Starting BMI: 57.5

Week 5: 347.6 (April 2, 2008)

Week 5 BMI: 54.4

Pounds Lost This Week: .1

BMI Lost This Week: .1

Total Pounds Lost: 19.4

Total BMI Lost: 3.1

% Weight Lost This Week: 0.03%

Total % Lost: 5.29%

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Ok, so that "record loss" stuff was just pure sarcasm. But I was so annoyed. I just have to keep working hard and trying. This is truly the test... it isn't as hard to persevere when the weight is jumping off my bones. When it's clinging to me, I feel like I'll never have victory. But... I will have victory. And my weight doesn't define me. Who I am is not contingent upon my weight. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

I had a really great conversation last night after Community Group, and I realized that I really am so caught up in my appearance, and what people must think of me. I am convinced that all anyone sees- even those who love me- is this huge body, like a grossly overstuffed couch. But the truth is... once you sit on a couch you don't care what it looked like, so long as it's comfortable. Sure, people will notice when they first meet me that I am obese, but as they begin to get to know me, it's who I am and whose I am that matters, not my dress size. So it's important to pursue my health, but it's not what defines me.

Remind me of that when I beat myself up, if you would.